there's no such thing as gravity; we all have leadened feet, right? 

pant. pant. pant.

desperation is really unattractive. i imagine him being just as sad. the night i said, "goodbye" he kept trying to linger in that magical doorway of "but what if."

"bring your car to the house saturday morning and i'll wash it for you. it'll take only 20 minutes."

i wouldn't even take the free car wash. i'd rather drive dirty and alone. dust clouds fly whenever i kick up my windshield wipers. it brings me back to the calistoga wagons of my past life. i was white, a mother of 5, with the life expectancy of 42--when counting leap years. i was a february baby.